


living in a world of noise

by fairydustedtheory



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, Fluff, M/M, Song Lyrics, Strangers to Lovers, i tried i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1916781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairydustedtheory/pseuds/fairydustedtheory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis finds notes with song lyrics and short diary entries signed with 'x H.' in books at the old public library, and starts working there as a librarian, eager to find out about the person who left them there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	living in a world of noise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meggiewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggiewrites/gifts).



> This is short I'm sorry!!! I wanted to write a longer fic but i ran out of time. hope you still like it a little bit.  
> be gentle with me please! x

"Have you quite finished?" Zayn said barely throwing a glance at where Louis was lying face down on his bed while Zayn was sitting at his desk overlooking a pile of papers. Louis muttered something inaudible, ignoring his comment. "I need a book for my evening class, could you go to the library to get it for me ?"

 

Louis grunted but couldn't say no. It had been part of their pact from the beginning. Zayn had been offered a teaching job, and had been about to refuse, not feeling really comfortable with the idea yet. He felt more at home in his art studio than speaking in front of an audience, but Louis had supported him and convinced him that it was a good opportunity to practice and also make a little more money. Plus, Louis really didn't want Zayn to have any regrets. Somehow the conversation ended with Louis promising he would go borrow the books Zayn needed at the library himself if he finally agreed to do this. He suspected afterwards that it had all been a plan on Zayn's part.

He rolled his eyes as he slipped into his VANS and thought once again that being without a job, this pact made with his best friend a couple of months ago was the first and only reason for him to go outside that day. Most days if he was being honest.

 

*-*-*

 

As he was on his tiptoes reaching to grab the book -which was on the top shelf because that was his luck- a neatly folded piece of green paper slipped out and fell slowly to the ground.

 

His first instinct was to... of course his first instinct was to open it and read it. Chances were that it was just a library receipt or some boring shit of the sort but Louis' curiosity was stronger than his common sense. And yeah, common sense be damned because this was no receipt !

 

There was a long paragraph written in what seemed to be a young restless handwriting. The sloppy writing heavily contrasted with the neat fold of the paper and that was enough to have Louis' curiosity rise to new heights. He sat down, his back against the large wooden shelf and started reading.

 

_"There are things on my mind again. Things I feel like writing down. Things that are important. Maybe they'll be important to you as well ? Maybe you'll catch them and keep them and these words will finally get their meaning._

_The value of an individual is not to be seen according to common codes. Individuality doesn’t fit in boxes. The day you free yourself from social expectations and restraints you might finally be able to see that finding your own way is only overcoming the fear of the unknown. You'll understand that being free to take risks fills your soul with excitement and strength. You need to take these risks ! You need realise that you are the one defining your own value and that it has nothing to do with standards. At every step, you learn something about yourself, so just start running and know all the way, as deep as knowing goes, know it in the fast-fast beating of your heart, know that you are worth it._

_I want to know my strength and know that I am able to do what I want, love how I want. I want to scream it. You should too. You're the master of your own life. Trust me ! Your only limitation is your perception of yourself. See it, feel it ! You're uncatchable ! x H."_

 

The note obviously wasn't meant for him, yet his heart sped up as if it had been. He re-folded the piece of paper and slipped it in the back pocket of his black jeans as he walked straight to the check out desk. He didn't feel uncatchable, for him it was more a question of who wanted to catch him or not. As far as he was concerned, it felt like no one was chasing after him so why bother running in the first place.

 

He buried the message deep into his mind, the green paper abandoned in his bedside table drawer. Louis forgot about it.

Forgot all about it, abeit for a very short time.

 

The second note appeared some time the next week.

Louis was on babysitting duties at his mum's and after a day of playing and caring after all these cute little children running around and going through the hassle of putting them all to bed, he really just wanted to sit on the couch and watch some brain dead reality telly where people can't align two words together. That's how tired he was.

He loved babysitting days, he really did. But since he got sacked from his last job, famously known as the flipping burger job, Jay asked him to come home a lot more often, thinking it was a good way for him to earn a little money and spend some quality time with his siblings. In all honesty it was more a way for her to go spend some quality time with her husband on some couple getaway weekends, but who could blame her? If Louis had someone in his life, he'd be the first one to plan romantic trips for two.

Bottom line was he was there alone with about half a football team sleeping in their rooms upstairs.

 

And as he sat down and grabbed the remote, he realised the telly was gone. Just gone.

 

 _"Mum where the fuck is the telly??!"_ he quickly texted.

 _"Language Louis! It broke down last week sorry about that. Grab a book, have a nice one Love you!"_ was the reply that came ten minutes later.

 

Grab a book. Have a nice one. Right.

He stayed on his phone playing for a while, just because. He thought about calling Zayn but the lad was at his art studio. At least that's what he had said. But Louis knew there were good chances he was out trying to chat up that cute blonde they met the other day. And when Zayn had someone whom he liked, it was hard for anyone to not be falling in love with him a little bit. It was an otherworldly experience and only people who have lived it can describe what it feels to see Zayn with his big bright eyes and his devastating smile.

Louis couldn't figure out why it was so difficult for him to be interested in anyone, but there he was : a single lad hating being single but not ready to settle for someone who wouldn't be the right one.

Well, he wasn't going to go down that road and analyse his love life. That was something for guys' night outs with Zayn and lots of alcohol involved, and not at all something for a night like this one alone in his mum's living room with nothing but an old dusty book to keep him company.

 

Louis grabbed the book. Of course, he grabbed the book, what else was there to do. And it was a romance novel, because of course his mum would read that instead of some crazy fantasy adventure where shit actually go on. Louis crossed his fingers for this to not be an erotica novel like last time. Don't ask. Louis was still traumatised about it. He really never needed to know these things about female genitalia was all needed to be said.

 

Louis sighed and opened the book. His mum's bookmark was left somewhere near the last twenty to twenty five pages so he decided to start from there. Louis smirked, if she tried to find an excuse to stay away longer, he would have leverage. The hostaged knowledge of how this novel ended. It was a good plan.

He sat back, dipping into the old worn out couch he had known all his life, and opened the book.

 

It was dreadful.

 

Louis couldn't believe this had even been published. He was shaking his head and about to close the book to never look back on it ever when he saw something stuck inside the back cover.

It was a pink post-it note.

 

_"You look good_

_with your patient face and wandering eye_

_Don't hold this war inside._

_x H"_

 

Louis stared at the small "x H" and there was no doubt that it had to come from the same hand who had written the message on the green paper he had left behind somewhere in his flat. -And if that somewhere was neatly tucked in between two of his favourite books, it was only for safe keeping and nothing else.-

Louis peeled the note off the back of the book and examined it a moment longer. This sentence reminded him of something. He was sure he had heard it before.

 

He got up to grab is wallet and put the note inside. The thought of leaving it in place never even crossed his mind.

He frowned. There was something about this note. Obviously it was nothing like the first one and yet, Louis still felt these goosebumps run over his skin and his heart speed up. It was like stumbling upon something sacred, being inadvertently thrown into the circle of trust of someone he didn't know, having to keep it secret, like it was his and no one else's.

 

He started looking around the room for other books from the library. He found a couple more, looked quickly but thoroughly through them, going over the pages and turning the covers twice. There were no notes in them and Louis couldn't help but be a little bit disappointed.

 

But one thing was certain, there were others. Other notes left between the wrinkly yellowed pages of old library books.

 

*-*-*

 

Since Zayn had his big art project he was at the studio more often than not, and Louis was booooored. Leaving Louis alone in the flat was never a good idea and Zayn should have known that by now.

 

Louis threw the whole flat upside down in search for something to do. You can only play video games and eat left over pizza for so long before losing your mind.

He desperately grabbed the book sitting on Zayn's desk as a last resort. His best friend had started marking the pages he wanted to go over in class, scribbling some key points on old and barely sticky post-it notes. Louis smiled at himself. Zayn had a great analytical mind, he was really good at what he did.

 

Louis turned to the last page and did a double take. That note wasn't written in Zayn's handwriting.

Louis recognised who it was from right away. There was no surprise to find the little "x H" at the end.

 

_"When you can’t have lips_  
 _I will offer you my words_  
 _to kiss you goodnight. TKG_

_x H"_

 

That had to be a sign.

Louis was about to embark on an awfully big adventure. He quickly got up to grab _All the King's Men_ from Zayn's satchel and quickly skimmed the pages until another note fell off. Louis picked it up without opening it. It was yet another sort of paper, this one wasn't new or neatly folded like the first or a simple sticky note like the one Louis had just stuck on the arm of the couch. This one was different. Louis kept studying every inch of the old paper, every wrinkle, every stain until they became known territory to his eyes.

 

_“There are too many understandings of history, too many different perceptions always evolving. It is not a succession of events unrelated but a network, a web linking each person and each event. Any little event can connect to any event in history and by that fact is again making history. History can be seen as a big file full of instants foreshadowing present and future events. As everything is connected, we have to pay attention to see our responsibility in the world. You reading this note means something. We both have to know that the present passes by as we are in the shadows, we cannot have recognition of our time until it is passed. We'll know later what it means that I am writing this, leaving it in this book for you to find. All I know is that the world does not respond to the "Great Twitch theory." That can't be it. History is not just a succession of unrelated people, as electric twitches, moving on parallel lines going on forever without ever converging. We've got to converge. We're converging right now. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me. x H.”_

 

Louis was certain, it did.

 

*-*-*

 

Louis was on a quest. He wanted to find more of these notes. He was curious as to what was being written and left there for him to find. He just wanted to find them and read them. And keep them.

 

So now, he went to the library even without Zayn prompting him to go. He sort of went skimming through all the sections, not just the British and American Lit sections for Zayn's class.  
He started by the sci-fi and fantasy section though, because why not find himself a cool novel to read while looking for notes. The treasure hunt wasn't really fruitful there, but not fruitless either. He did find a couple of post-it notes, so it was still a win.

 

A short one which obviously looked like song lyrics but from a song Louis didn't know.

 

_"You gotta get up on your feet_

_You gotta fight against the stream. x H"_

And another one which, although Louis couldn't really explain it, somehow felt more personal.

 

_"I have no clock, no compass._  
 _Time and space are lost to me._  
 _Minds open to any adventure._

_Let's fly away._

_x H"_

 

There was something about this H person that got Louis so interested in these small messages. He knew he was almost getting obsessed with it. He couldn't help it.

 

Soon, he had collected a large bunch of notes. Some from the shelves themselves, and some others in a few musty books he bought at library sale.

 

It started to not be enough anymore. Fuck, Louis felt in too deep.

 

His bedside drawer started to look like the streets of Paris after planes dropped their propaganda pamphlets all over the city. Okay so that might be a slight exaggeration but Louis wasn't really good at History. Louis was the messiest person on earth but when it came to the notes, he kept his favourites notes in a neat little stack tucked into the book sitting just under the bedside lamp.

 

There were ones from songs he knew.

 

_"I can't say the words out loud,_

_So in a rhyme I wrote you down._

_Now you'll live through the ages,_

_I can feel your pulse in the pages. x H"_

 

and some poetry as well.

 

_""I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood." Unknown._

_A home isn't a place, it has got to be a person._

_Everyone finds theirs one day. Just be patient. x H"_

 

Even if he knew, he knew very well, that this was just some childish part of him that wanted it to be true, he couldn't help but feel that all of these were meant for him. The goosebumps never left.

 

*-*-*

 

One night, Zayn caught him as he was putting away the notes he had found that day.

Louis was just sat on his bed, going through some of the post-it notes when Zayn walked in, a bottle of rhum in hand.

 

"I don't have to go to the studio until late tomorrow, so I just wanted to see if you were up for drinks tonight?" Zayn asked not really paying attention.

 

The way Louis jumped and stumbled trying to close the bedside drawer and cover what he was looking at was more than enough to give everything away.

 

"What are you doing?" Zayn narrowed his eyes.

"Nothing!"

"Right and I believe you, no doubt." Zayn chuckled, taking the couple of strides separating the door from the bed in a second.

Louis didn't even fight him when he tried to re-open to drawer.

"Are those love notes?" Zayn smirked. "You never told me you had a mistress from the 18th century!"

 

"They didn't have post-it notes in the 18th century, arsehole!" Louis gaped at him before kicking him in the shins. The mattress dips slightly as Zayn sat down. He tried to at least be considerate enough to turn his head to hide his smile. He was a good guy like that.

 

After a couple of drinks, Louis tore his eyes away from the light yellow patches and cracks ornamenting the ceiling and agreed to tell him about his secret. They even read a few of notes together. Just a few, not all of them. So far from all of them. Just a few.

Louis rested his head on Zayn's lap as he read.

 

_"But I'm not searching for the answer_

_I'm not looking for the truth_

_I'm just talking through a speaker_

_Because that's all that I have ever learned to do. x H"_

 

Zayn tried to asked what it all meant, but Louis couldn't say.

He took another sip of his drink, spilling some on his shirt, because yeah drinking when lying down had always been a great idea. Especially when they were opening their second bottle, or is it the third already ? The buzz felt nice, the icy liquid running down his side and soaking is covers, a little less.

Zayn picked another note up.

 

_"Got a tattoo said 'together through life'_

_Carved in your name with my pocket knife. x H"_

 

Louis wasn't drunk enough to admit that the day he found that one, he stopped in the park on his way back from the library and carved a small "x H x L" on the the dirty brown trunk of the hundred-year-old tree standing by the sidewalk. That had been ridiculous at the time, it felt even more ridiculous thinking back on it now. Louis stayed silent, listening to his best friend's voice saying words he knew by heart.

 

"So what are you going to do about this, Lou?" Zayn asked finally. Louis groaned in reply. He just wanted to listen to the words, he didn't want to think.

"This obviously means something to you. What are you going to do?" Zayn said again.

 

"Nothing. I'm not going to do anything Zaynie. I'm just going to sleep." Louis slurred.

 

"You should find who this H person is! You should send them a message! Do something about this!" How was Zayn not pissed drunk was beyond Louis. "Promise me you will, Louis!"

 

Louis hummed in something that could be taken as agreement and apparently that was enough. The words were stuck in his head that night as he lied in bed long after Zayn had gotten back to his quarters.

 

He had to do something about this.

 

*-*-*

"Listen to me Martha" Louis started, hands strongly anchored on the wooden desktop. "Here's the plan!"

“The plan?” Martha, the old lady at the library reception desk looked at him, bewildered.

Louis' senses were off balance after his evening spent drinking and his night spent thinking. Zayn hadn't had to push very hard to make him see that he had to make a move. He wouldn't say the idea had been building up in him because Louis could be very oblivious sometimes, and that was why he was so grateful for Zayn and his wisdom to come sweeping in from time to time.

Sometime around four in the morning, Louis remembered his mum mentioning that the library was looking for someone to update the old files into their computer data bank a few months back.

If luck was on his side today, it could all work out.

“Hear me out, Martha,  my dear Martha.” Martha's eyebrows shot up looking unconvinced. She knew Louis since he was a child and was the little menace of the kids' book club back when he was six years old. "You –we– cannot go on like this, Martha. There's something here, between us.” He saw Martha react at that, she couldn't even keep a straight face. The plan was set in action. "I need a job. More than that, I need this job! Please, I don't cost much, don't make me beg!"

Louis still ended up begging, but after a couple of phone calls, Martha came back saying that yes they were still looking for someone and the job was Louis' if he didn't mess up his try-out period.

 

If Louis started his try-out period actually not doing his job, nobody had to know but him. The first thing he did once he was left alone behind the desk was go over to the data bank and enter the name and bar code of a few books in which he remembered finding a note.

 

But apparently luck didn't want him to have it that easy. There were a couple of names in common but no one starting with a H. So unless one of those Liam Payne, Niall Horan or Gemma Styles decided to use a pen name just to fuck with his head, he wasn't going to find his love note writer on these lists.

And fuck Zayn, it was his fault if Louis thought of it as love notes now.

 

He sighed as he slumped down in his chair with his pile of documents. He might as well really get to work while he tried to find his plan B.

 

*-*-*

 

Plan B came as a mystical awakening. No this one wasn't too much of an exaggeration. It was near closing time at the end of his first week working at the library. A few more notes were found, and it was all very frustrating.

He found them, just as the books were being returned and he was so surprised the first time that he almost tripped as he jumped out of his chair to run after the person who had just deposited the pile of books.

It turned out it was just stupid Kenny (or whatever his name was) who works at the library as delivery boy (or whatever his job is).

Louis stomped back to his desk and and looked over the small little note.

 

_"Oh feel our bodies grow,_

_And our souls they blend._

_Yeah love I hope you know,_

_How much my heart depends. x H"_

 

The "x H" was still there and that was all that mattered in that moment.

That was how plan B came to life. Louis was looking over the note he had found that day, and he realised that if he could find notes but not find the person behind them maybe they would be able to find him!

Maybe if Louis just openly said it, then the person writing these notes would come forward and introduce themselves. Or maybe they would think Louis was an obsessed creep. Yeah, that too.

Creep or not, Louis was decided that plan B was the best way to go. No H person was borrowing the books so unless Louis made some sort of grand gesture, nothing would ever happen here. Louis was quite proud of his grand romantic mind so a grand gesture shouldn't be too hard to think about.

What should it be? A large banner in the library? An internet campaign?

Then Louis thought of something better, and from that point on, the first step of the plan was easily untangled.

He grabbed the stack of post its and started scribbling on them.

 

_"I've been keeping them safe_

_All these pieces of you_

_They're safe. x L"_

 

He wrote the same message on all these post-its and started to go down the aisles to put them in books of the same genres, same authors, ones Louis thought could be of interest to this H person. He was still working at it when Martha forced him to leave as the library was about to close.

 

"Your shift ended two hours ago, Louis. Whatever mischief you're planning today, this will have to wait until tomorrow." She physically dragged him out the front door. Damn that woman was strong for her age.

 

*-*-*

 

It was late afternoon the following day, the library was quiet and after a two days of hard work, Louis was still going at it.

 

"Excuse me," someone said, startling Louis who finally stood up from where he had been crouching down to the bottom shelf level. He instinctively hid his stack of post-its behind his back as he turned around to find a tall good looking boy staring back at him. "Do you work here?"

"Hm.... yeah. Yes I do!" Louis answered, blushing a little at the large bright smile the boy threw his way. His smile was the most contagious thing Louis had ever seen. "It has barely been a week or so since I started, I'm not used to the title it gives me just yet. Took me a month to get used to being Princess of Genovia, so you know -"

 

The boy laughed loud, louder than both of them expected. The couple of people still in the library turned their way, startled by the echoing sound. 

"Your Highness, i beg you to accept my profuse apologies for this very loud sound I just made in your quiet land." He solemnly declared bowing his head. The corners of Louis' mouth still menaced to quirk up.

 

Fuck, that boy was beautiful. Definitely Louis' type.

 

"Were you looking for something? I'll help you with it!" Louis exclaimed, trying to shut the voice in his head saying he'd willingly help the boy with other things than library matter any day and any night, all night long if you know what I mean.

 

"I was just wondering if you had _Crush_ by Richard Siken in this library. I've been looking for it for a while." The boy said, playing with his hands behind his back.

 

"I think we do."

Actually Louis knew they did since he went to put a post it note in there no later than this morning during his break. He figured it was as good a place as any, especially since H seemed to quite enjoy poetry. Louis started reading some Charles Bukowski, Paul Celan and Ee Cummings recently. Zayn never bothered asking where Louis got these recommendations from, Louis just caught his knowing smirks and tried not to blush to visibly when Zayn came back in the flat and found that Louis hadn't moved from the couch in hours, so deeply absorbed into one of these selections of poems that time disappeared.

He gestured at the boy to follow and then left him in the poetry section in a very professional manner. It was a vain attempt, but Louis desperately tried not to glance over, to watch the boy as he leaned down to grab the book.

 

*-*-*

Louis felt his eye twitch with curiosity when he saw the cute lad from the other day taking seat in the lounge section of the library. The boy smiled at him and Louis forced himself to put all his focus on the papers he was in the middle of sorting through. It wasn't that Louis didn't feel like staring a while longer but he actually quite liked his job at the library. Who would have thought.. the job consisted mostly in endless days spent in the old and dusty quarter of the old library in front of an old and dusty computer and surrounded by old books and old registers covered in even older dust, and yet there he was, really enjoying it and trying to not get sacked this time.

 

A few days passed and the boy kept coming back, going to sit in the lounge with a different book each time, never checking out anything. Louis threw glances at him from time to time but never too much. One obsession at the time was enough for his little heart.The boy looked hesitant but Louis caught him darting his eyes over to him a few times.

Louis had a hard time making it through the day, constantly feeling the boy's searching eyes on him when he was laughing with Martha or helping the little kids from the same old book club find their perfect book, or just sitting at his desk under a pile of paperwork. They were both in some sort of silent conversation, shared only through their gazes.

Louis wasn't sure he knew the meaning of anything anymore. He hadn't found any note in days. He started to worry that all of it was over. Maybe there had been a fourth wall and Louis had gone and broke it. He was restless and itchy. His fingertips playing drums on the stack of papers he should have gone over hours ago.

 

That was until the boy left his book on the counter before making his way to the exit. Something in Louis told him to go open the book right away.

There it was, the first note in a week.

_“So he said, "Would it be alright_  
 _If we just sat and talked for a little while_  
 _If in exchange for your time_  
 _I give you this smile?" x H”_

Louis snatched the note and made a rush for the door, his rushing heart barely keeping up. He was ecstatic. This had to be it.

 

The warmth of the sunlight was so bright, so real on his skin as Louis caught up to the boy.

"Wait!" Louis said catching the boy’s wrist, strong enough for the boy to stop, but loose enough for him pull away easily from the soft cage of Louis' fingers.  "Is this yours? It is, isn't it?" Louis continued, glancing at the boy who seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

 

"I —" the boy's shoulders slumped and he shrugged. "I have no idea what this is."

Oh, the boy was a terrible liar.

"You're H, aren't you?" Louis whispered softly. He wasn't letting go, cautious hope written on his frown.

 

The boy sighed. "Harry. I'm Harry."

 

Louis’s face snapped up to look at him. His stomach swooped, his lungs compressed as all the air was dragged out, his heart skipped a beat and all these other stupidly overdone things people use to describe the strange feeling bursting inside of him.

 

Louis bit his lips. "I'm Louis."

 

"Hi, Louis." He took in a long breath. Louis stopped and stared at him, waiting for him to start again, say something, anything. Louis counted 17 heartbeats until Harry broke the silence. "I got your note." Harry finally smiled at him, blushing.

Louis was trying to breathe again. His brain trying to reconcile with the fact that H wasn't an old granny after all, no matter how many times Zayn teased him about that. H was so so far from an old granny.

"It's true, you know, I've been keeping them safe." He couldn't help but smile a bright and happy smile as he was finally able to say that out loud.

 

Harry didn't say anything back. The moment felt big. Too big. Louis wasn't prepared. They stayed a moment longer in silence like that, before Harry gestured that he was going to go.

 

"Wait," Louis breathed, looking like he’d been punched in the gut. This couldn't be over yet. "Let me take you out. Please. You're right. You're right, life isn't a great twitch. Please just let me take you out. It doesn't have to be long. Just. Just a couple hours."

This couldn't be it, this couldn't be the end of it. Louis couldn't let it be over just like that. 

"Alright" Harry said simply, readjusting the backpack he had hanging from one shoulder and straightening his back, his eyes not leaving Louis'.

"Alright" Louis let out barely audible. Was it really happening?

"It's a date." The grin that spread over Harry's face at that moment was probably what inspired painters when they tried to show the world what heaven was. And Louis felt ridiculous once again.

 

*-*-*

Louis didn't wait the end of the date to kiss him.   
  
Harry had been waiting for him on the bench in front of the library when he came out of work that evening, backpack still hanging from his shoulder. "Why wait when we can do it right away?" Harry had said smiling, dimples on full display. Louis was already so infatuated with this boy.   
  
They talked and talked and nothing felt like a first date, nothing felt like they were strangers. 

They stopped for fish and chips after walking for what had to be hours as the warm colours of the sun slowly disappeared. Louis asked about some of the notes, the long ones that really spoke to him. Harry happily explained how he started the whole thing, how important it felt when he left the first one, how it became this habit, this part of him to just leave notes, write down his feelings. Just let it all out.

Louis' eyes kept traveling south staring at Harry's parted lips every time the boy took a few seconds too long to form his next word, and he knew he wasn't imagining the way Harry's gaze kept flickering down to glance at his own mouth when his tongue darted to lick the salt off his lower lip, how Harry's words faltered every time he did so.

 

Louis was coming back from the diner counter with some desserts and Harry was just seated at the table finishing his chips. And all Louis could think was how much he wanted to kiss him, to taste the lips forming these words, taste the words before they even left that mouth.  
Then, _fuck it_ , he thought, and  instead of sitting back down, or even talking, Louis just bent down and brushed his lips against Harry's, catching them in gentle closed mouth kiss, just a short whispered secret. He sat down right after as if nothing happened.

The younger boy's face was telling a different story. 

 

Harry barely waited until they both were out of the diner, two fists clenched in Louis' shirt to pull him against his chest and crushing their lips together in a kiss that was anything but stolen. Louis stumbled on his tiptoes, falling against Harry who was awkwardly leaning against the wall of the diner for balance.

"You cheated" Harry breathed against his mouth. "You didn't wait until the end of the date for the kiss. You cheated."

Louis smiled, pressing his thumb to Harry's soft and lush bottom lip, "I did." He forced his eyes to leave those lips to meet the green eyes in front of him. "I'm sorry but I'd do it again."

There are so many things Louis could say, how he has been wanting this for a long time. How he wanted to kiss Harry even when he didn't know who Harry was, when he was just words on paper. How he didn't know it then but that's what it was, it was all leading him up to this. How Louis wasn't used to taking risks with his heart, how he never really gave much thoughts about the person that would hold all the answers and his whole universe between their fingers but that right now he was convinced this was it.

 

"Admit it, you've been spying on me for a week" Louis said quietly, his gaze meeting Harry’s with mischief in his eyes. "That's probably worth the thousand notes I could've written you..."

 

Harry nodded and Louis inched closer catching his lips again in a lingering kiss. His stomach swooped again when he felt the returning press of lips against his. Harry sighed and shifted towards him and opened his mouth, tasting Louis from the tip of his tongue.

There were no words to describe the electricity flying everywhere they were connected, Harry's large hands moving to the back of Louis' neck to keep him close, their lips, the fervent hitch of his breath as Harry pulled him closer.

Harry was the one who let out the first moan.

Louis broke the kiss smiling smugly, and he was still smiling when he pressed his lips back against Harry’s mouth.

 

*-*-*

That had been the first moan of many.

Louis loves the noises Harry makes. The pants and the gasps. The moans especially. The moans he lets out when he can't catch enough air to scream are probably his all time favourites. Louis wants to tuck them neatly in the book on his bedside table where his favourites notes have found a home.

Sometimes Louis looks at Harry like he's the biggest moron on the planet but in a second he's just carding his fingers through the springy bits of his hair, and he just knows he has this look of pure adoration on his face. It's a bit frightening to know he can't hide it away even if he tried, but he just finds comfort in the fact that it is all mirrored in Harry's eyes.

It's funny sometimes how Harry is an open book. He shamelessly admitted that each morning as he wakes up, he just stares at Louis' thin curvy eyelashes, spending time learning each possible way they cast dark shadows on Louis' cheeks while he dreams.

And when Louis wakes to the sound of Harry doing his morning yoga in their bedroom. Louis just lies there, craning his neck to admire Harry's shoulders flexing under the soft paint of sunlight coming through the window. Harry freezes his pose as soon as he sees Louis' heavy lidded eyes, shamelessly staring him up and down.

"You're awake"

"Please don't let me stop you" Louis whispers, eyes not leaving Harry for a split second. Harry stops right away though and Louis' grin gets wider, loopier. "Just come here then."

Harry crawls over him then, his whole body covering Louis in one movement. He shakes his head looking down at him and Louis nuzzles his nose up into the curls by Harry’s ear. It smells a little bit like sweat, a lot like Harry. It's perfect. And a moan escapes his smiling lips when Harry bites at his ear and nibbles at his neck, grabbing his hands and pulling them up above Louis' head just as Louis pushes his hips up to meet Harry's. They're both still naked from the night before. Louis learned quite fast that they'd be staying naked for always if Harry had any say in it.

He's not complaining.

 

*-*-*

Harry never stops leaving notes. Most times it's just a post it left on the kitchen counter with a bowl of cereals and a cup of tea.

 

_"If the waves are high, darling I won't be running scared,_

_I will hold my breath if you just keep me floating here. x H"_

 

Sometimes it's a long message, those come mostly after they had a fight, always neatly folded. It's never anger writing, Louis knows, it's always a way to say the fight did not change anything. Just another way to be sure they are ok.

 

Louis half expected the first I love you to come on a note. He had wanted to say it or write it but it never came up. Too busy feeling it to have it come out one way or the other.

They're getting ready to go out with Zayn. Taking way too much time for Zayn's liking, they just keep sharing lazy kisses and giggling into each others necks, saying the stupidest shits that come to mind while Zayn rolls his eyes from the couch.

Louis goes on his tiptoes trying to tie Harry's headscarf back into place, a dopey smile never leaving his face. And Louis thinks once again that he is just so gone for this boy and all his quirks.

"I love you" Harry whispers, like it is the most natural thing in the world.

And it is.

 

They can hear Zayn snickering in the back. "Have you quite finished, lads?" 


End file.
